Will you friend me?

So Facebook. I want to pretend I’m too good for Facebook. But every time I’m on the computer, I have to check my page. I’ve been with a guy for weeks now, and I’m waiting for him to make it official by sending me a relationship request on Facebook.

So what is it about this website that has sucked me (and millions of others) into its trap?

Well, I was having a conversation the other day with some fellow Creighton students, and somehow the topic of conversation turned south, and someone said, “masturbation is the most thing a person can do.” Everyone has heard this one before, and there’s some legitimacy to it. But, since we go to Creighton University, and therefore can’t discuss matters such as that, I’ll just say this: Creating a Facebook account is the most selfish thing a person can do.

We get on these accounts and update our profile pics and our statuses regularly, assuming someone will look us up and find us witty, or even care that we’re studying or eating, or sleeping, or freaking out about class. It’s a search for verification. We put up lists of our favorite books and quotes and hope someone will see and think, “Wow, this person is witty,” or “This person sure reads a lot.” Something.

It’s not true!

Who’s Facebook profile do you look at the most? Your own. When was the last time you looked at anyone’s information for more than a few seconds?

That’s the reason Facebook is so popular. It was designed for people like me who want to believe that all of my hundreds of friends on the site are truly interested in my status, or my new favorite movie. It makes me feel good to get on this Web site for more time than I’d care to admit, and be completely self involved.

What is my favorite book? What would make the list of quotes I want to share with the world? As if even my family members would care.

It’s a scam.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go update my status before class.